Holding my breath underwater
It really does feel like that..
Like i'm suffocating
Nauseous
Dizzy
I can't wait to move up to the surface
Emerge from the tide and turbulence
Draw in a breath of fresh air
My heart so longs for
I don't think i qualify for
being a young working adult more than 2 mths
But i am feeling the stress
I feel sick
I feel pressured to perform
but not given or provided proper training
Most of the time i just feel like
a mad chicken being released out of the coop
when KNOWINGLY, there are ppl waiting behind bushes
to capture and slaughter me..
Okay, mayb dat's a funnier description
On a more serious note
i feel like a lamb
Keeping silent before its shearer
I think it's unfair
I think i need to voice out
It's reli dumb to expect someone to perform a recital
when he/she can't even read a single note on the chord sheet
Truth is,
I'm getting sick and tired n bored
n i'm thinking to myself
I need more patience
I need to have long-suffering skills
den again, I do think whether i am in the right career path
It reli bothers me to know my colleagues are leaving
One by One
Every single precious one of them
People who are keeping me at doing what i'm doing
They've all gotten better offers
Mind you, compared to what we were getting
There are BOMBASTIC, FUNTASTIC offers
den I feel like applying to wherever they're going
Den i think again, do i reli wana do this?
the money might be good
but Do i reli wanan work in this line?
I feel like i'm retarded sometimes
My growth i mean,
sometimes i feel like i'm ready to run
other times i feel like i need someone
to assist my crawling
I should be old enough to make my own decisions
Truth is, i dunno what i wanna do
I reli dun wanan waste everything i've studied
for the past 5 yrs
but i reli can't be a technical person
I NEED CLOSURE
i'm just reli frustrated now
I wish God will drop me a sign from heaven
I wanna do sumtin that can maximise my skills,
talents and personality to the fullest...
but i dunno how
n i'm tired of thinking how..
N i'm sad
Sad that close frens are not so close anymore
I feel like i've lost a lil part of me
since i started working
i honestly dun think i'm as crazy as b4
as jovial and funny as b4
most of the times i'm js TRYING 2 b happy
n dat upsets me
i dun recall the last time i actually laughed
till i cried
which i so often do when i was studying
help
i need CLOSURE
i'm still holding my breath underwater
will someone show me how to surface pls?
Like i'm suffocating
Nauseous
Dizzy
I can't wait to move up to the surface
Emerge from the tide and turbulence
Draw in a breath of fresh air
My heart so longs for
I don't think i qualify for
being a young working adult more than 2 mths
But i am feeling the stress
I feel sick
I feel pressured to perform
but not given or provided proper training
Most of the time i just feel like
a mad chicken being released out of the coop
when KNOWINGLY, there are ppl waiting behind bushes
to capture and slaughter me..
Okay, mayb dat's a funnier description
On a more serious note
i feel like a lamb
Keeping silent before its shearer
I think it's unfair
I think i need to voice out
It's reli dumb to expect someone to perform a recital
when he/she can't even read a single note on the chord sheet
Truth is,
I'm getting sick and tired n bored
n i'm thinking to myself
I need more patience
I need to have long-suffering skills
den again, I do think whether i am in the right career path
It reli bothers me to know my colleagues are leaving
One by One
Every single precious one of them
People who are keeping me at doing what i'm doing
They've all gotten better offers
Mind you, compared to what we were getting
There are BOMBASTIC, FUNTASTIC offers
den I feel like applying to wherever they're going
Den i think again, do i reli wana do this?
the money might be good
but Do i reli wanan work in this line?
I feel like i'm retarded sometimes
My growth i mean,
sometimes i feel like i'm ready to run
other times i feel like i need someone
to assist my crawling
I should be old enough to make my own decisions
Truth is, i dunno what i wanna do
I reli dun wanan waste everything i've studied
for the past 5 yrs
but i reli can't be a technical person
I NEED CLOSURE
i'm just reli frustrated now
I wish God will drop me a sign from heaven
I wanna do sumtin that can maximise my skills,
talents and personality to the fullest...
but i dunno how
n i'm tired of thinking how..
N i'm sad
Sad that close frens are not so close anymore
I feel like i've lost a lil part of me
since i started working
i honestly dun think i'm as crazy as b4
as jovial and funny as b4
most of the times i'm js TRYING 2 b happy
n dat upsets me
i dun recall the last time i actually laughed
till i cried
which i so often do when i was studying
help
i need CLOSURE
i'm still holding my breath underwater
will someone show me how to surface pls?
13 Comments:
hey there...all I can say is, hold on. John 14:1. "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." Something I held on to in times of doubt and suffocation. :)
-window washer-
thank you window washer.. i will try to hold on.. i just feel very far away from everyone and even from God at this point.. i know all will fall in place in time..
thanks for being truly one of those who never disappoint me during this time when i feel so detached from my frens.. reli appreciate you.. n i love you so much. hugs*
hey dear,
i'm sorry if it seemed like i haven't been near enuf for you.
But do know i'm always thinkin bout you and really praying that this whole transition goes well. Just hang in there okay, and i hope a window wil open for you soon.
If you're not too busy, wanna hang out sometime next week?
Mellieee... heys *hugs* nah... it's just dat i've to accept the fact that things will start to change no matter i like it or not.. i just wish some things will never change. But seasons will come n go n we'll stil hafta cope in the end. But i never wish for us to drift apart. You're too precious a fren to drift away. i love you... YESH hang out some time soon.. I'm coming back on MOnday.. HUGS*
hi darling... sorry for seeming far away.. guess i've been caught up with other things. so much going on in church..my NZ friend's visit.. (so wished she could've met u)...spending more time with some girls in church.. sigh* just so much stuff la.. i cant even name them.
hey... when u come back we hang out k?tues is public hol for selangor. hope ur on hol too.. hugz*
When all words fail...*HUGZ*
I love you. And know that I'm here for you in whatever may come your way k.
*Muaks*
estherweeeeeeeeeeeeeee,
>:D< things may feel really bad right now.. but i know you'll make it through till you see more than just the surface, you always have, no? Trust God.
and let's hang out soon, when're u coming back again? i'll only be in KL for the next coupla days. - i think i need to laugh till i cry again too. =)
take care dear girl. luvya >:D<
hey esther...
i feel your frustration...
and i know what you mean when friends change and feel far away...all within this nasty transition period.
Indeed i've tasted periods of loneliness seeing my friends move along and stuff...
but hang in there ks...i'm sure God has He's reasons for trying times like this. He always does...
Just don't forget Him in all of your persuit of this life...
keep close to fiiends and God...
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Hey dearie...
I miss you... really do..
Change is not easy, it is usually not even close to pleasant..=(
I was visiting ACTS last week, but you weren't there...sob sob... wat a coincidence you were back at KB..
Anyway just know I miss you ler... a LOT.. how I wish too that things could be like before, but yeah.. changes are bound to happen...
No matter how things change, one thing doesn't.. I still love you...*hugz u tightly*
-tha-
To rach, Ona, Mich, Jason, Tha... thank you so much for commenting on my blog and being such an encouragement to me =). Ya i guess all of us hate to go thru changes but dats life right?.THanks for showing me that i was wrong to think that i was all alone =) when i've so many things to be thankful for and am so blessed in so many ways. Tha, i haven't seen you the longest.. hope u're doing reli well.. do take care n miss u heaps as well. dunno when we can meet again with all our crazy schedules.. but u'll always remain in my tots and in my heart =).*muax*
Hey there. I haven't had internet access for over a week already. I've got to get used to this...no internet:( my company, i got no pc of my own. can't simply check mails. then i got no connection at home as well:( feel so detached from everybody:(
anyways, just wanna say that i'm still here if u need anyone to hang out with. whatever you wrote in ur blog, i can really identify with it. almost all of it. and sometimes i feel that same frustration. it drives me nuts. it's only the 1st week of my job, but sometimes i ask, "what am i getting myself into?" I know God lead me here, but i just feel so restless. like i missed something.
anyways, i'm always up for a meet up or a talk, like old times. so whenever, just drop a line yeah:) hope to catch up with u soon.
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